The Secret Life of Steve Leonard
by AllTimeNatalie
Summary: Everyone focused on Darren and his feelings, failing to wonder about Steve Leonard. His life isn't a walk on a fresh, sunny day. Sometimes he misses Darren and his mom, sometimes he wishes he could reverse time. 1st chapt based on film, 2nd based on books
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own any rights to Cirque Du Freak and never will. *CRIES* I will never own Evra Von *CRIES SOME MORE* 

**A/N: **In Steve's POV

**SUMMARY:** Everyone focused on Darren and his feelings, failing to wonder about Steve Leonard. His life isn't a walk on a fresh, sunny day. Sometimes he misses Darren and his mom, sometimes he wishes he could reverse time, based on film.

**TITLE: **The Secret Life of Steve Leonard

~**CIRQUE~DU~FREAK~ **

Hi, I'm Steve Leonard (Or Leapord, it doesn't really matter) and I'm a Vampaneze. Darren used to be my best friend and deep down I know that he still is except I also know that he hates me. He thinks that life as a vampire is hard, he should think about my life. I wake up every morning cold, lonely and hurt. I miss him more than he misses me and that is the thing that hurts the most. Sometimes, I wish that I could end it all with one fatal stab but the Vampaneze need me. When he left me in that theatre, a new whole was punched through my heart. He doesn't realise what this life is doing to me. Every night I think about him with his little friends at the Cirque and how much more he has than I do. It hurts more than anything and I need him to tell me that it's going to be okay but he can't.

I need him to wipe away my tears and tell me that 'tears don't suit me' like he used to. He was the only person I could cry to and tell all of my problems to. He was a brother to me and I miss him more than anything in my whole life. He was my best friend and was part of me but now, he's gone and he's taken a part of my heart with him. The hardest thing to deal with is the fact that I know he is still laughing, breathing, running, living the perfect life. He is still forgetting all of the things we did together. Like the time we took some his mom's jewellery and buried it in the garden, moments we can never re-live.

I guess the person I resent the most is Larten Crepsley. We all here call him Crapsley but I'll just use his normal name for now. He was the one that took my almost blood-brother from me. He was the one that took away part of my life that I can never get back. Darren has it all and what do I have? Power? Rage? They're all on the outside, inside I'm empty. I can't love because it hurts too much, I can't laugh because I don't know how to anymore, I can't smile because I don't really have anything to smile about. I saw him once, with Evra (his new best friend) and my heart fell and shattered. It was like he had totally forgotten about me and was living as though I never existed. My mom hardly realised I was there. She was drunk half the time and had a new guy everyday. I didn't think that I'd miss her but I do. She still cared and I failed to think of that. I wondered weather she cried or not at my funeral but she wasn't a crying type. I'm not sure if she turned up to my funeral actually but I guess she had to really.

Sure, I know a few guys around here but not as many as I knew back at school. It's all Desmond Tiny's fault, he did this to us. He tore us apart. I pretend to like him and pretend he's my dad but that's all for show. Secretly I hate him and want to stab him in his big, fat stomach. I used to think that if I did, he'd just explode because hi fat belly was actually air but now I know that it isn't. Mr Crepsley killed Murlough in the theatre and that's another reason why I hate his guts. Murlough was my only friend here and now he's a little person, I can't look at him like I used to. I looked up to him and now, he can't teach me anything. Without his teaching, I'm gonna die because well he was my mentor. He was going to teach me everything I had to know and well when the war comes, I can't do anything because I know absolutely nothing.

I hate Evra Von to. He is Darren's current best friend and he's living the life I should be living with Darren and loads of friends. When I think about him and Darren living it up, I grow more… not jealous but angry. He has everything. He has a career, Darren, a comfy hammock, a pet and friends. I used to have all of that. Basically, don't think being a Vampaneze is easy because it's not. It hurts the people you're closest to and you end up loosing them. A vampire's life isn't easy but a vampaneze's life is just as hard, if not harder and now I have no one to train from because Tiny's always busy doing other stuff and eating. I gotta go now so… well bye.

**STEVE. **

~**CIRQUE~DU~FREAK~ **

**A/N: **Please Review to tell me what'cha thought. It only takes seconds. ^_^ Thankies, love you all so much!!!


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own any rights to Cirque Du Freak and never will. *CRIES* I will never own Evra Von *CRIES SOME MORE*

**A/N: **Okay so I decided to write a book version of this because I know that not everyone will have seen the film. Also, the book has more material to put into this so hope you like it.

**SUMMARY:** Everyone focused on Darren and his feelings, failing to wonder about Steve Leonard. His life isn't a walk on a fresh, sunny day. Sometimes he misses Darren and his mom, sometimes he wishes he could reverse time, based on film.

**TITLE: **The Secret Life of Steve Leonard

**Re-write basted on the books**

He, I'm Steve Leonard- or Leopard depending on what you wanna call me. I'm Vampaneze, and my _best buddy _Darren? He's a vampire. We hate each other, or at least he hates me… well he would if he knew what I was. That's what sucks about being Vampaneze. He hates my guts and it's all because of a damn eight legged monster. It's hard to imagine, this far on in my life, that if we hadn't gone to the Cirque, if Darren hadn't stolen that spider, none of this would've happened. I've been to the Cirque a couple of times, just to see how he's getting along. I shouldn't but I can't help it. No matter how much I lie to myself, it still comes down to it in the end that I still care.

We were like brothers. I'd thought about doing the whole blood-brother thing but before I could, he left me. I don't know why… or at least I didn't until a few months back. Turns out he'd left me to become one of them. It's not my fault I crave power and evil. It's the fact that I have nothing left that drags out this bloodthirsty monster inside of me. I just want Darren to hurt as much as I did when he _died. _I just want him to know how I felt when I spent every day at school alone. I want him to feel this pain I can't move whenever his name is mentioned.

The main person in all of this is Larten Crepsley. He had to make deals with Darren; he couldn't just do something from the kindness of his own heart. Well, saying that he doesn't have one. His heart is black, dead, shrivelled and unloved; his heart is the most unused organ in his entire body. I lie there at night in the freezing air and wonder how all this started. It's mad. One minute you've got everything then the next you've got nothing. It's as though my life is being played out in front of me while I try and put the pieces together. I don't know if it ever occurred to him but he didn't have to steal Madam Octa, he didn't have to fuck everything up!

My mind is constantly aching with thoughts and lost memories. My life isn't exactly a walk on a sunny beach. I fight, I do everything to try and keep whatever it is that I've got left. I might be evil but I've got pride and I won't waste it in shedding my own life. I remember the good old days in Mr Dalton's class. We weren't the brightest kids but we tried. We always used to write each other notes and have fill blown conversations in the middle of bunking off from algebraic equations. It may not seem like it but I'd give anything to go back to that life.

When I went to the Cirque, I saw him and his best friend Evra laughing. It tore my heart out of my chest. I remember when we used to laugh, I remember when we got a detention for bursting out laughing in the middle of the Christmas Mass when one of the English teacher's fell over a microphone stand and landed head first in the Nativity- poor Mary never saw it coming. Neither did baby Jesus. We thought the other kids would find it vaguely hilarious too but then she got concussion and had to be sent to a hospital.

It's not that I chose to be like this- evil and bloodthirsty- it's that I've had this lifestyle drummed into my head. I've been told to hate and lie and kill. I've been taught how to fight and defend myself. I may hate this life but no matter how hard I try, I can't deny the fact that the Vampaneze took me in when no one else would. When my mum didn't want to know, they did and for once in my life I felt important and wanted.

It's not fair the way that he has everyone's sympathy. He has everyone running after him like he's some sort of God. He can't even sleep in a coffin yet and I have to kill people to just stay alive. I won't lie- there is something of a rush when I hear people's screams. It shows me that I'm not the only one who has to suffer. It's like some sort of sweet sacrifice.

I know I can't save him from Crepsley's clutches. I know that he's gone and he isn't coming back. I've adjusted to this thought already. I sometimes pray at night that it isn't me he hates but what I am. If he only knew how I was feeling, maybe things would be different. I don't know why we fight, the man with the heart shaped pocket watch won't tell me but what I do know is that things can never be the same again. Guess that's just life though. Shame I've got another 800 years of it.

All I want to know is if he misses me as much as I miss him.

**Steve **

Hope you like it and thank you for my other reviews even though it wasn't very well written- in fact I read over it and I know now that it was bordering on suicide educing. Anyway, thanks for reading.


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